I saw this sign the day after I read this post from Heather about neighborhood kids tromping through her gravel berm/rain garden, and this post from LeAnn about a brazen flower thief in her garden. Both of those posts, plus their comments (along with my personal experience) tells me we all have something to get off our chests when it comes to the way our gardens are treated by others.
The homeowner above aimed the sign towards a large church parking lot (with landscaping) next door. I can only assume that the mow-and-blow guys cleaning up around the church make their job a little easier by blowing some of the mess towards this poor person. Heck I’ve experienced the same thing from both of my neighbor's lawn care services (sometimes it seems I'm the only person in Portland who mows her own lawn).
So what would your sign say?
Right now mine would say “use the damn sidewalk Mr. Delivery man!!!” I mean really, what about this front yard says “just cut right up the middle?” Nothing! Use the sidewalk! You know that thing on the left that connects to the huge open driveway...it means about 6 extra steps, come on, you can handle that...
Okay your turn…what would your sign say?
I love that sign and know exactly what they mean. How does it make sense to blow debris into the neighbors' yard? Does the homeowner approve of that plan when they hire these dude. I've gotten so I run out front and work in the garden when show up, because funny thing: they don't do it when you're standing there.
ReplyDeleteBut since that sign is already taken, mine would say this: I love dogs, but goddamnit, don't let them romp around in my garden!
I think I might have two signs. One would be directed at the squirrels... "Touch the aloes one more time and its flippin' on like donkey kong!!" and then maybe one directed at the humans ... "palms are friends" ... quite often I hear things like "palms just aren't for me," or "OH! .... (silence)." I wish I could do a small write up at the entrance to the garden about the traditional use of trachycarpus fortunei in England, the Mediterranean, and even their long term usage throughout Vancouver. I'm not sure if you are aware, but there are palm haters in our midst. They think they "dont belong" are "invasive" and ironically people complain that they are "non natives" as though everything else in their yard is native. I think not. (and then I direct them to the palm tree fossils found throughout the Gulf Islands)
ReplyDeleteOh noooo, Louis, palm HATERS? What is wrong with them?
DeleteI've heard that about Palms ("not native enough") and the same for the Monkey Puzzle tree, they get cut down because people think they don't "belong" here...
DeleteDear God,
ReplyDeletePlease make the polar jet stream go 1000 miles north and make it stay there!
Love
Adam
Today my sign would say, "No, really, you need to clean up your dog's poop. You can't just leave it here."
ReplyDeleteMy sign would be directed to all the checkbook gardeners in our neighbohood regarding noise pollution: "For the sake of some peace and quiet, please have your mow-blow-and-go guys work only from 9 to 5:00 Mon. through Fri."
ReplyDeleteYep, that's right, some of the yards are cared for after 6:00 pm on Thursday, right when we sit down to dinner outside on the patio, or on Sunday mornings. I don't appreciate needless noise pollution when I'm home and trying to enjoy the outdoors.
Yikes...it MUST be bad for them to resort to something like that! Mine would either say, "If I wanted chickens in my garden, I'd buy my own" or "If you let your dog crap in my garden...I'm going to crap in yours". Too much?
ReplyDeleteMaybe not enough (for some idiots!)
Delete"crazy woman lives here,forewarned"
ReplyDelete"Beware of Tire Spikes in Drive"
ReplyDeleteOur circle drive gets a lot of turnarounds from delivery trucks. I have this idea for remote control spike strips....
have a sign in my veggie garden (facing alley) that says "some of these plants are poisonous. do you know which ones?"
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Garden: Beware the Poisonous & Man-Eating Plants! all beautifully executed on a classy sign.
ReplyDeleteMy sign would say,
ReplyDeleteDear Nothing but Lawn Neighbors,
These bright yellow things in my yard are called FLOWERS. You too can actually grow some in your yard. Why not try a few?
P.S. When you replace your plain boring turf with the FLOWERS, you might get some large beautiful fluttery things stopping by. They're called BUTTERFLIES.
Love,
David/:0)
This sign is specifically for the garden tour folks: "If you want to know what that flower is, come and ASK, don't PICK one to show me. 300 people = no flowers. And NO, you can't pick a few fruits and seedpods, they aren't ripe anyways, you knucklehead."
ReplyDeleteThat sign speaks to me. I've played leaf ping pong with our neighbor's yard service. They blow leaves from next door into my succulent bed, I blow them right back.
ReplyDeleteWe've had the dog poop issue too, but not so much anymore now that we have a 3-ft fence around our front yard and the planting strip outside the bed is a solid mass of plants.
The sign I would put up is similar to what David suggested: "You, too, can have a yard like this." Too much boring lawn around here.
Mine would be directed to my neighbor, and would say "Stop feeding the raccoons!" I actually found a huge pile of raccoon poop in my garden yesterday (it looks like dog poop but has seeds in it), so I picked it up in my trowel and dropped it over the fence into her back yard. Was that a bad thing to do? Maybe not, bad would have been flinging it at her house, right?
ReplyDeleteOMG Alison I can't picture you doing that! (but I love that you did)
Delete"GOD DAMMIT THIS IS A GARDEN NOT A CONVENIENT CUT THROUGH NOW STOP FUCKING WALKING ON MY DAMN PETUNIAS YOU LAZY ASS LOSERS"
ReplyDeleteI hope it felt good to get that out of your system... (hehehe)
DeleteOh it did...yes it did...
DeleteI'm not sure how nice my sign would be.... I have neighbors that blow their debris in the middle of the road and leave it and neighbors that say there dogs are just being dogs when they pee and poo in my yard....on a leash at that!
ReplyDeleteHi! I found your blog from Apartment Therapy. What a beautiful garden, and a nice blog too. Consider me a new fan, who is usually a nice person, but recently was driven to make a sign that said "Please pick up after your dog. I am tired of doing it for you. - Your Neighbor" and I stuck it into a large pile that was left in my yard. That person was a repeat offender, and the sign did work for the week that I left it in place.
ReplyDeleteSounds like after the sign came down they stopped caring? Ouch! (thanks for stopping by!)
DeletePlease, lovely passer-by, come through the garden gate and help yourself to a handful of my weeds and pop them on the compost heap on your way out. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteReally, he cuts through that garden? Act of hostility on his part, surely. I really like Gardening Shoe's sign, but I'm more hostile so mine might say; remember as you cycle by at 5 in the morning to be quiet, not shouting to your friend(I live on an Ironman Route). Or; No fireworks shot at the roof, No parking on the lawn, No planting of signs on the lawn, and No cigarette butts. I need to work on the humorous aspect, clearly.
ReplyDeleteReally he does. And walking up the drive would put him so much closer to the neighbors front steps too, which he visits after mine. I think it's just utter carelessness.
DeleteDear person who pretends to be environmentally conscientious by scooping your dog poop and putting it in the pretty little bags you get at the trendy pet store, My flower beds and shrubbery are NOT appropriate receptacles for these little bags of joy. Interestingly enough, this soil, just like that a few feet away, will also drain into the ocean or water supply. P.S. by the coexist bumper sticker on your Prius, I assume you'd like to also remove your lovely discarded styrofoam coffee cups so as to further the cause of environmentally sound and peaceful practice.
ReplyDeleteLove and Peace,
Peter
I think our sign would say "Really? You're really going to leave that there and not pick it up?" which could be about doggy doo, trash or cigarette butts.
ReplyDeleteClever...by not being too specific your making everyone think twice!
DeleteNo I'm the gardener not my wife.
ReplyDeleteThis is how a yard should look.
ReplyDeleteMine would say, please enjoy our garden! I live on a main thoroughfare eight houses down from a grade school. I filled our hell strip with a vegetable garden and I always hope that the kids and people walking by are going to catch the gardening bug.
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm considering myself really lucky that I'm the last house on a dead end street and have conscientious neighbors.
ReplyDeleteThese are all good, so I will pick Justin, Greggo, Outlaw (and I'm far from the Gulf), David, and Shirley. I could put each one out for a couple months, then switch.
ReplyDeleteI would like to borrow Lisas sign...who wants to listen to a blower during cocktail hour.And , as a grumpy neighborhood eccentric, "Park in front of your own house dammit !"
ReplyDeleteI would have 2 signs. One would say, "ATTN All Cretins: Got Trash? Keep it in your car."
ReplyDeleteThe other would say, "If you 4 people parked by my herb garden can't afford a room, expect to be hosed down when you get out to change partners and run around the car buck naked. This is a wildlife refuge, not a refuge for wild life."
I like it, but I think I have to make it in flashing neon to get their attention.
Are you serious!?!! (the second sign)
DeleteI have been able to alleviate most front yard issues by having my main garden in the fenced back yard. However there is one issue that I've been unable to rectify and it really pisses me off. My sign would read, "Hey neighbor, you're a fairly decent person but when you set that ginormous pile of sticks ablaze the ensuing smoke wafts over the fence and up my nostrils and gives me a freaking migraine and makes me cough. I came outside to smell the fresh air not to get your microscopic particulates lodged in my lungs. Besides there's a county-wide burn ban in effect and I'm calling the fire department and you're going to get a hefty fine and I'm going to be on my side of the fence laughing. So there.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this great post. How much do we owe you for the therapy?
Ah Grace not a thing...this was fun eh? Too bad the people who need to read this won't be.
DeleteThanks for some much needed comic relief!
ReplyDeleteMy large, blinking, eyesore of a neon sign would say (depending on the season)
ReplyDelete1) Keep your dog off my flowerbeds - especially the ones under the trees you can't seem to see!
2) My yard is NOT your ashtray/trashcan/dog toilet!
3) Leave the flowers for other people to enjoy!
PLEASE WATCH FOR TURTLES.
ReplyDeleteThe UPS truck nailed a box-turtle on our driveway last week. I was pretty upset, because I'd moved the turtle twice off the drive and felt horribly guilty I hadn't moved it a lot farther (even though box turtles have very small territories and I was trying not to displace it too bad.)
My boyfriend had to finish it off with a shovel, and it was a pretty horrible scene all around.
Mind you, they actually have "Turtle X-ing" signs for sale, and I've got one on order now.
After someone walked all the way down the driveway to steel the pepper plant with the most pepper (walked past 5 of the others) We actually had the sign. "God, Budha, and your grandmother are watching, don't steal our plants/veg". They stole the pumpkin the sign was right above, sigh.
ReplyDeletethe new sign would say "yes, we are one hot dog away from 7-11, but we don't want the wrapper" or "does our garden look like an ashtray?"
I've given up on tulips in the front, as I've actually watched people pick them RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
"Actually it takes much less work than maintaining a lawn."
ReplyDeleteI planted a garden for the apartment complex when my mom's health took a turn for the worse, but the mow and blow's like to butcher the garden along with their crepe myrtles and palms. Just the other day they sheared all of the bordergrass and crimums as if they were privets!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I hope it says "Come on in!" or "stop and smell the flowers".....I know not a rant but a hope that one day my front yard will invoke some community/discussion and even a second to realize how awesome the world is! Not there yet (a bit too much yard right now) but slowly and surely we are getting there.
ReplyDeleteConsidering our 7.5 acres, my sign would say, "This area patrolled by a Granny with a shotgun. She don't know about political correctness."
ReplyDeletecora
Our sign would say something about "All the trash you leavingaround ends up in my carport! Also you eat an awful lot of junk food and might want to switch things up a bit." I might want to add one for the guy who stopped to tell me that I needed to pick up my leaves because I was ruining the neighborhood, not us them as mulch..."My yard, my gardening techniques!" or maybe "Before you comment on my leaves you should deal with the piles of trash sitting next to your dumpster."
ReplyDeleteMy fence is the best sign. Careless and clueless people are the worst.
ReplyDelete